On this day, National Sons Day, there are a few things I want to say to you. You’re both so little that you won’t understand much of this, but maybe someday when you are older you will be able to read this and know how much I love you both.
There will always be a special place in my heart for your older sister since she is the one that made me a mama first, but know that each of you hold special places in my heart for different reasons.
You have a child and you love that child so deeply that you start to wonder how in the world could you love another child as much as the one before. I know this because I panicked right before I gave birth to my second child. I started to shake as I waited for the doctor to arrive to deliver Landon and I said, “What did we do?” I also said, “I have to push another baby out?” But that’s a story for another time. Turns out, you don’t try and make room in your heart to love another child. Your heart grows with each child.
To My Second Born, Landon:
Where do I even start? Since the day you were born, I felt a special connection with you. The way you smiled at me. The way you snuggled into me. The way you look at me. The way you always know just what to say or do to make my heart melt. (That is a blessing and a curse by the way.) There is something about how deep your emotions are and how you pay attention to those around you and how they feel as well. You amaze me every day. I swear you have a photographic memory and you always shock me with how much you remember and catch on to things. I am both anxious and excited to see how you grow and who you will turn out to be. But for now…stay little. I will cherish every day that I get to hug, kiss, share in the giggles, snuggle and be your favorite person in the whole world. I love you Bub. (You better).
To My Third and Final Born, Kayden:
Although I didn’t have a great connection with you in the beginning, I have loved you wholeheartedly since you were born. You decided that you preferred Daddy a lot and that’s ok. It pains me to think back on the months after you were born and how much time I wasn’t able to devote to you as I tried to figure out what was going on. It’s sad to think about how much time I didn’t get to sit with just you and only you and get to know you like I did with your sister. You changed our entire family dynamic and it took some getting used to! I’m grateful that we got past the time when all you would say was dada or daddy and now it seems like mama is your favorite word. I love seeing your personality. The way you say ‘no’ with such authority or ‘hey!’ when something doesn’t go your way. Your smile is amazing, especially with all those little teeth now. I love your little stompy foot and the way you high step it when you’re running with glee. You are so attentive to what is going on around you and you soak up every little bit of it. You’ve grown so much in such a short period of time! It’s sad and it’s exciting. Sad because you’re my last. My last little baby ever ???. And exciting because you’re hitting the super fun stages! You keep us on our toes! I love you so much!
To You Both:
Some day you may or may not be responsible for looking after your sister and I have no doubt in my mind that you will both work together to make sure she is happy and healthy and cared for. I feel comforted that there are two of you to watch out for her.
National Sons Day is a day to honor the sons of the world and those who raise them. I’ve wanted to write something like this for a while, so I’m glad there is a day dedicated to you to remind me to not take things for granted and to love you and who you are!
You both have changed me in ways I could have never thought possible. I love love LOVE being your mama. May you always be loving, kind, gentle hearted and respectful. But most of all, be you. And be proud of who you are. Never be afraid to ask for help or say you don’t know something. Always strive to be your best. Always take care of each other (your sister too!) because family is everything! I know you will make me so proud. And know that no matter what – I will always love you with all my heart.